Jerbl.com Forum

Not All Who Wander Are Lost

You are not logged in.

#51 2005-09-29 08:24:25

firegem
Guest

Re: The Writing Group

tee hee, thas way neat.


i dont have a signature, so youll never find me, mwahahahahahahahahaha

Offline

#52 2005-09-29 12:54:18

blewjewl
Guest

Re: The Writing Group

Mermer, it's not bad, but there's no taking it seriously either.

Offline

#53 2005-09-29 15:52:54

Monisawa
Member

Re: The Writing Group

HWee?  I don't understand.


hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia  (yes this is a real word.)

Offline

#54 2005-09-29 18:06:50

firegem
Guest

Re: The Writing Group

its ok mike, she was talking to me.
faffer, i wasnt expecting you to. it looks like a little kid wrote it.


i dont have a signature, so youll never find me, mwahahahahahahahahaha

Offline

#55 2005-09-29 18:08:54

firegem
Guest

Re: The Writing Group

and u spelled it wrong


i dont have a signature, so youll never find me, mwahahahahahahahahaha

Offline

#56 2005-09-29 18:52:33

blewjewl
Guest

Re: The Writing Group

I invited it, Sis, you spell it your way, i will pretend it's ok to spell it mine. it doesn't look like a little kid wrote it, it looks like someone more mature with a lot of promise to write something worth reading ( who was scarred by the rubber duckie song as a child ) wrote it.

now here is something from me, cuz i haven't in a while.
hmm, i was going to write something loverly and you would all esteem me a writer, good or bad, but i don't know where it went. *sigh* so here is something else that is silly. i forgot all about it but it was for one of my stories in my class for writing for kids. i was actually graded on this.
this is an exerpt from chapter two: "Fortune On the Way."


"   Just then a crazy, scraggly looking black kitty leapt over the side of the pit at the princes who were trapped below.

'Scratches, NO! Bad Kitty!" the witch caught the creature in mid-flight and held her up by the scruff of her neck. "We don't want to eat the princes, I'm going to marry one. Maybe you can have the leftovers."

  She tossed the kitty aside and peered into the pit. "We're going to play a little game." She said to her captives, "The rules are: I make the rules."

The princes galnced at each other as the witch sat back.

"Bachelor Number One!" she cackled, "Where would you take me on our first date?" she flitted her long green eyelashes at Bob.

"Ugh,"said Bob, "the only place I'd take you is the palace dungeon, it's the only place as ugly as you."

The witch giggled, pleased. "Why thank you! That's so romantic! Bachelor Number Two, what's my middle name?"

"Oh I know this one!" said Fred.

"No you don't,"said Bob, "how could you?"

"I met a witch before." said Fred.

"Have not! You should just give up now, you know I'm going to win."

"Yes I have, why do you always fight with me?" Fred was getting spiky and mad again. He didn't get the answer right, but the witch thought he was cute so she let them fight.

"Bachelor Number Three, in the event of a natural disatster and Scratches is thrown out of a window and I can't find my broom, how many warts would you have?"

Mo had no idea what she was talking about and he didn't want to marry a witch. 'Well, ' he thought ' guess I ought to be polite all the same.'

"You smell lovely." He said. It was the only thing he could think of.

The witch gasped. No one had ever insulted her like that before.

"Why you Toad!" she screeched.

ZAP! In a flash of light and smoke, Mo had been turned into a rather large and unpleasant toad. His brothers had changed too. The witch couldn't decide between them so she zapped them together. They were now a two headed prince. They were still fighting and didn't notice."

The only way I could feel worse about that is if one of the characters stared singing the rubber duckie song.
later

Offline

#57 2005-09-29 23:07:25

Re: The Writing Group

Toads! *Giggle* Fun!


Feel your presence filling up my lungs with oxygen
I take you in - Rebirthing Full, Skillet

Offline

#58 2005-09-30 18:31:36

Monisawa
Member

Re: The Writing Group

PLEASE DON"T SING THE RUBBER DUCKY SONG!!!!  (in the background, a song starts up.)  .....rubber ducky, your the one, you make bath time SO MUCH FUN.....
AUGH, AUGH, AUUUGH!!!!

Anyway your story very good and unique. 

It is very interesting when people throw a spin on things we see everyday.  That one has to take the cake.
Super neato.

And to firegem, I liked your story.  It was very abstract and FUNNY!!! I like making stories like that!  I still have to work on my funny bone in writing.  I am pretty good at art, and such related, but writing stories and being like what your story was, is unique.  This oppinion is the HONEST truth.


hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia  (yes this is a real word.)

Offline

#59 2005-09-30 18:33:13

Monisawa
Member

Re: The Writing Group

Holy HOTDOG, Saraphim!!! I turn around and you're posting novels!!!!  Not that it is a bad thing.  -_-  I guess I need to read it soon.  *_* 

Or at least some of it.


hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia  (yes this is a real word.)

Offline

#60 2005-09-30 19:25:05

Re: The Writing Group

XDXD Sorrrrrryyyyy. I couldn't resist...

I've not like I've given you up to chapter ten yet....

Chapter seven is forty pages....

Thank goodness six was only fifteen....

I have over two hundred pages....


Feel your presence filling up my lungs with oxygen
I take you in - Rebirthing Full, Skillet

Offline

#61 2005-09-30 19:37:23

Monisawa
Member

Re: The Writing Group

If you want, I cant host that on my webpage....and then people can read it from there and comment on it here.

choice is yours though.


hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia  (yes this is a real word.)

Offline

#62 2005-09-30 20:32:48

Re: The Writing Group

You can't...:P Shouldn't that be can? I'm sorta...I dunno...


Feel your presence filling up my lungs with oxygen
I take you in - Rebirthing Full, Skillet

Offline

#63 2005-10-01 08:27:12

Monisawa
Member

Re: The Writing Group

You could actually just silently upload it onto your own webpage and only give US, that is here on the forumn, your Link to it and say,"OH, I posted part of my story on the internet.  Come and READ it!!!"  The only problem is that you will probably get about as much support from them as I got.  -_-  My story is WAY to long "Teamclaw" that is and not many people want to commit to read such a long story....sigh....such an epidemic.
thanks
mike


hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia  (yes this is a real word.)

Offline

#64 2005-10-01 11:34:04

Re: The Writing Group

Awwwwwww....I could commit to it...


Feel your presence filling up my lungs with oxygen
I take you in - Rebirthing Full, Skillet

Offline

#65 2005-10-01 18:06:22

Monisawa
Member

Re: The Writing Group

I mean....if you WANT to keep posting all 200 pages...then you can...but it is up to you.  I don' mind.


hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia  (yes this is a real word.)

Offline

#66 2005-10-01 19:15:04

Re: The Writing Group

Well, it's just a lot easier than...other ways....-_- Y'know? Instead of lots of HTML code....>_> <_<  Because I do everything from scratch.....


Feel your presence filling up my lungs with oxygen
I take you in - Rebirthing Full, Skillet

Offline

#67 2005-10-03 18:02:15

Monisawa
Member

Re: The Writing Group

course.


hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia&nbsp; (yes this is a real word.)

Offline

#68 2005-10-08 17:58:35

Monisawa
Member

Re: The Writing Group

After our first successful meeting, this forumn kinda died down.....sigh....I hope that we didn't scare everyone away!

And to Saraphim, I guess this writing group forumn will mainly host SHORT stories and small fractions or excerpts from a part of your BOOK that you would like to post, or are having problems with.  I think that people don't want to commit to reading something that long. (-)_(-)  But I think that we talked about this already...so I hope that I am not being redudant.

To save you from all of the HTML problems and BLAH, you could post your story, in my main Verganol area as a new thread.  Just don't post it in the writing group.....if that is okay with you...that is.

thanks
mike


hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia&nbsp; (yes this is a real word.)

Offline

#69 2005-10-08 18:05:38

Monisawa
Member

Re: The Writing Group

Okay, to break the SILENCE, I am going to post, my rouph draft of :


The Journey of the Panda

part 3 Panda and washer woman
(when your done reading it you can tear it LIMB FROM LIMB and rip out all the infestations that are growing and molded into it!!)


Waking up, Panda turned to the water, and looked at the fish.  Bobbling its head, the fish saw him move, and because of fear, ducked down into the deeper sections of the pond.
    Turning his eyes onto the bamboo, the panda knew that he had everything he needed.  The top of the mountain that he resided contained bamboo, water, and a place to sleep and dream.  Nothing could be more meaningful.  The whole mountain was his, and noone else could have it.
    Echoing drips from a distant pond, the panda could hear the rain that had fallen earlier from the grey sky, slide down the bamboo, or break into a fall, off of its leaves, and plop into the water.  Once again Panda fell asleep.   
    "Where are you going," asked a voice? 
    Panda turned around to see where the voice had come from.  Seeing that he was once again standing on the brick path, he looked ahead and noticed that he was either farther on the path and had already passed the shrine, or that he was on a different path.  The paht led across the top of a long and tall hill; to his right and his left was a steep incline, disapearing into the mistish fog, that seemed to be everywhere but on the path.  Seeing a human woman who was down on her hands and knees, scrubbing the individual stones, the Panda stepped back, as he had almost stepped on her.
    "I am sorry," said the Panda. 
    She looked up at the Panda and smiled, "Do not worry dear one.  The path is long, but I never grow tired."  Her wrinkles on her face seemed pleasant as she smiled, Panda noticed.  They dug her deeper into the folds of time, and made her seem the most pleasant person to be with.  Reaching her hand into a wooden bucket, she wrung out the water out of the rag.  Brushing the water that had gathered from her ardious work, she pulled one of her rolled up sleeves down and dried it from her other arm and then drew it across her forhead to gather up any sweat that had formed on it.  Pulling her sleeve methodicallly back up, she glanced throught the corner of her eye, once more from her work, she tilted her head, causing her rustic black,white, greyishhari that was done up into a bun, and stabbed with what looked like chopped sticks, bob down and up.    Letting free a strand of hair, the wind caught hold of it and threw it out of the rest of the cluster.  She was waiting for the answer to her questioin.   Reaching down the panda put the strand of hair back into place with two of his claws.
    "Dear woman, where am I to go?  You asked me where I am going, but I do not know even myself."
    The woman dumped the bucket onto the ground, throwing bubbbles up into the air.  Watching the bubbles swim up and around him, the panda marveled quietly as the swirled soap reflected his face, much like his pond does.
    "Where you seek must be ahead," said the woman.  Pointing her wrinkled,yet strong hand in the direction of a distant mountain that stood above the mist of the haze, the Panda looked at it questiongly. 
    "Why to a mountain?  I already have my own."
    The woman went back to work.  Scrubbing the soapy water back and forth, she continued to clean the stones.  Wringing the water she had gathered into the rag into the bucket, she once again turned her attention temporarily to the bear,  "I cannot tell.  I onlyknow that it is where everyone is going.  They never come back to tell me."
    That is strange thought the panda.  "Then why do you not go up yourself; leave the bucket and rag, and embark on a journey?"
    She lauped a quiet lauph that seemed to carry the breath of thousands of springs.  Peace and tranquility helfd therein from her pleasurble momment of enjoyment made the bear smile.  "I cannot!  Surely these bones of mine would not make such a traveling distance."
    "Has noone offered to carry you," Asked the bear?
    "No, I am sure that others have more use for their strenthg, then me."  She continued to smile and went back to work. 
    Panda was confused.  Such a peaceful woman; so kind patient and understanding, why was she cleaning the path?  He did not want to inquire further, as he did not want to weign her patience, but he was confused.  Was this place a place of peace, and if so, seeing that noone has returned, why was she not there with them?  Turning his expression towards the mountain, the low clouds seemed to contain and compress his thinking ability.  One thing that he did know for sure, he could not leave her here.  "Woman I will carry you.  I am strong and have much unneeded strength."
    She smiled, but held herself firm.  "No, I could never ask that of you.  I have done fine for many many years, I will be fine."
    "But," the bear argued.....slowly a gust of wind shook the bear, and brushed a cloud between them....slowly falling away from the path and being pulled up and away from the woman, he wished to call out, but the bear was once again awake next to his pond.  Smaking his chops he blinked seveal times to clear his mind.  Leaning his head forward, he glanced over his shoulder and looked around himself.  Half dazed, he thumped his head back onto bamboo, and fell back asleep.


hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia&nbsp; (yes this is a real word.)

Offline

#70 2005-10-08 19:38:26

Re: The Writing Group

Lol...I'm not expecting anyone to commit. *Giggle*


Feel your presence filling up my lungs with oxygen
I take you in - Rebirthing Full, Skillet

Offline

#71 2005-10-08 20:29:59

Monisawa
Member

Re: The Writing Group

Oh, I see....yes I see.


hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia&nbsp; (yes this is a real word.)

Offline

#72 2005-10-08 23:01:55

Re: The Writing Group

I just...did it for fun...but I deleted my posts for you. *Bows*


Feel your presence filling up my lungs with oxygen
I take you in - Rebirthing Full, Skillet

Offline

#73 2005-10-10 17:56:20

Monisawa
Member

Re: The Writing Group

You going to add them again?  I never got a chance to read any of them.  Maybe if you post them in small 3-4 paragraph spurts once a week, we could evaluate them, or read them easilyer.  -_*  Hmmmm.....


hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia&nbsp; (yes this is a real word.)

Offline

#74 2005-10-10 18:30:06

jerbl
Member

Re: The Writing Group

Monisawa wrote:

You going to add them again?  I never got a chance to read any of them.  Maybe if you post them in small 3-4 paragraph spurts once a week, we could evaluate them, or read them easilyer.  -_*  Hmmmm.....

Or I could set up a wiki or something where things like that don't have to rotate in posts, but would be in their own direct spot.  I'm experimenting with something with Melissa, if I have any breakthroughs maybe I'll show them to you.

Offline

#75 2005-10-11 10:38:00

Monisawa
Member

Re: The Writing Group

That sounds sweet!  Oh, btw, WELCOME Jeremy to the WRITING GROUP!!!!!


hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia&nbsp; (yes this is a real word.)

Offline

Board footer

Powered by FluxBB