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Not All Who Wander Are Lost

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#1 2005-01-18 09:44:19

jerbl
Member

Team Claw

Well guys, its up, its not all the way complete but you get the general idea.  And I am super tired today, I watched part of an old disney film last night called The Cat from Outer Space, cute idea, although I don't like all the ideas that it brings up.  Beer and Gambling are made fun of, but I think that it could have been done a little better.

http://jerbl.com/teamclaw/

Go check it out, should have a new story up every two days, if all goes well!

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#2 2005-01-18 10:25:38

Monisawa
Member

Re: Team Claw

Your comment link was broken...but otherwise, I am extremely impressed!  The build up was awsome, charcter development and everything!!!  Way to go.  WAY TO GOOO!!!!!

BTW my only slight complaint of the entire thing was that you mentioned how Nemo was able to kick victor around so effortlessly.....Everything else was perfect, but lets say if your a majician, you don't reveal to the audience how you do your tricks.  The magic seems to be lessoned....

The audience doesn't neccasarily need to know HOW he does it, he just does, it's assumed.

Like I said the new stroy twist was really awsome and the development was SOOO much COOLER.  The tingling facts about the "accident" is so cool, "after all they are only BOMBS!!!"  How coy.
thanks
mike


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#3 2005-01-18 11:04:30

jerbl
Member

Re: Team Claw

Monisawa wrote:

Your comment link was broken...but otherwise, I am extremely impressed!  The build up was awsome, charcter development and everything!!!  Way to go.  WAY TO GOOO!!!!!

BTW my only slight complaint of the entire thing was that you mentioned how Nemo was able to kick victor around so effortlessly.....Everything else was perfect, but lets say if your a majician, you don't reveal to the audience how you do your tricks.  The magic seems to be lessoned....

The audience doesn't neccasarily need to know HOW he does it, he just does, it's assumed.

Like I said the new stroy twist was really awsome and the development was SOOO much COOLER.  The tingling facts about the "accident" is so cool, "after all they are only BOMBS!!!"  How coy.
thanks
mike

Point well taken, I'm not sure how to do a happy medium though, its harder than it sounds, so maybe I will edit it at some future date that I need to bring the story in line with everything else.  How did I do on the errors and structure?

[seconds later]

Comment Link Fixed!

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#4 2005-01-18 11:18:57

jerbl
Member

Re: Team Claw

Monisawa wrote:

The audience doesn't neccasarily need to know HOW he does it, he just does, it's assumed.

Mystery added, I'm still at a mental loss, really tired, but I think you are right in that respect, now if I can get my brain to do the next one.  Work, Work, Work, yep the brain is fried sad

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#5 2005-01-18 12:13:30

jerbl
Member

Re: Team Claw

Hmm, finally found something I can edit effectifvely in, now there is just no time, gotta do homework, hopefully by tomorrow I will have Securing the Sewer Pipes, it got a length adjustment as well.

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#6 2005-01-18 13:05:28

Monisawa
Member

Re: Team Claw

Good luck, i havn't started on a picture yet, though I think I will wait until you are done writing....You really tightened up the last one, so I will let you go without me trying any preconception process.


hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia  (yes this is a real word.)

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#7 2005-01-19 09:58:06

jerbl
Member

Re: Team Claw

Almost done, give me a little bit today and I should get it up before I leave school today, I love this story writing.  Now I just need to apply this desire equally to everything I do, I know I will be a better person if I do it!

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#8 2005-01-22 11:57:35

kitty
Member

Re: Team Claw

interesting part one! (hehehe nemo's awesome!)

#9 2005-01-22 11:58:52

kitty
Member

Re: Team Claw

interesting part one! (hehehe nemo's awesome!) im kitten not kitty, but it wouldnt let me enter my real user, jeremy!

#10 2005-01-22 12:29:44

jerbl
Member

Re: Team Claw

kitty wrote:

interesting part one! (hehehe nemo's awesome!) im kitten not kitty, but it wouldnt let me enter my real user, jeremy!

not quite sure what you mean, but I'm sure one of the boys can help you figure it out!

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#11 2005-01-29 19:20:02

Monisawa
Member

Re: Team Claw

When is the next episode going to come???


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#12 2005-01-31 13:05:54

jerbl
Member

Re: Team Claw

not quite sure yet sad calculus is taking a lot of my time...

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#13 2005-02-02 18:38:24

Monisawa
Member

Re: Team Claw

Ok....sigh, I understand...school is taking up a whole lot of my time too...I continue to wonder when I will get time to do any more pictures...


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#14 2005-02-03 11:14:40

jerbl
Member

Re: Team Claw

Monisawa wrote:

Ok....sigh, I understand...school is taking up a whole lot of my time too...I continue to wonder when I will get time to do any more pictures...

I feel your pain man, but its ok, its all for the cause of justice, to vanquish evil and protect the common man from himself.  Come brother, let us go forth triumphantly and blast the living daylights out of evil and all her minions!

wink

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#15 2005-02-03 16:18:40

Monisawa
Member

Re: Team Claw

jeremy wrote:
Monisawa wrote:

Ok....sigh, I understand...school is taking up a whole lot of my time too...I continue to wonder when I will get time to do any more pictures...

I feel your pain man, but its ok, its all for the cause of justice, to vanquish evil and protect the common man from himself.  Come brother, let us go forth triumphantly and blast the living daylights out of evil and all her minions!

wink


How come EVIL is a she? ^_^


hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia  (yes this is a real word.)

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#16 2005-02-04 11:21:21

jerbl
Member

Re: Team Claw

Think of the Book of Mormon symbolism of evil and you'll get it!

big_smile

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#17 2005-02-10 17:26:46

lil_red-fox
Guest

Re: Team Claw

Hey! That was a really good story! I can't wait for the next!
   I do think, though, that you needed to better explain what exactly it was that Nemo did to Viktor, some trick he had learned from Viktor's father?
  I love the creativity of it all, with the whole velcro on the ceiling and all of those gadgets they had. It was also very interesting to me because I actually know the caracters as well as part of the setting. I think maybe you do have some free time, aye? Make sure that next time the bad guy has a bigger and more amazing of an outcomeish sort of scheme next time...I must admit that I was expecting something bigger...and tell mike that the picture was absolutley awesome too!! I loved the lighing effects!! When will the next one be out? I demand that you write another!--lilredcraze!


This is trunking me out of my mind!

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#18 2005-02-10 17:33:38

lil_red-fox
Guest

Re: Team Claw

I could draw a fox for you!! They are my fav animals, and I love to draw them! I could draw an evil one! or a stupid one trying to act evil..?!


This is trunking me out of my mind!

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#19 2005-02-10 17:33:54

lil_red-fox
Guest

Re: Team Claw

I love draw!! I love to art!!!


This is trunking me out of my mind!

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#20 2005-02-10 18:24:25

Monisawa
Member

Re: Team Claw

Did you read the first episode here:
http://www.jerbl.com/teamclaw/

episode 2 here:
http://www.jerbl.com/viewforum.php?id=25

and here is more pictures...that Jeremy posted -w/o telling me-:
http://www.jerbl.com/cpg/thumbnails.php?album=12
THat explains a bit.


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#21 2005-02-10 18:33:20

Monisawa
Member

Re: Team Claw

Currently, I am working on the designs for a Fox....and yes I know you Love foxesssss er whatever.   

Talk to Jeremy about drawing pictures for him.  I know he wouldn't mind...In fact he would be flattered.


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#22 2005-02-10 18:35:26

Monisawa
Member

Re: Team Claw

Right now my designs are on the general profile of the head...the way I have it set up is pretty cool, but when it comes to drawing in any position, I am still working on.  In fact I am not totally confident in cats either....but I love drawing them and I love how victor is looking so far...though limited movements -_-  sigh...


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#23 2005-02-10 18:38:31

Monisawa
Member

Re: Team Claw

If you feel so inclined I have an art bbs drawing area:

Several people draw on a really easy art program and other people comment.   Make sure you check the previous pages, which can be attained down at the bottom of the page:
http://www.jerbl.com/verganol/translation/

If YOU want to draw, I have a how to do it:
http://www.jerbl.com/verganol/


hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia  (yes this is a real word.)

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#24 2005-02-11 11:16:27

jerbl
Member

Re: Team Claw

Yay, more contributions.  As for when the next one is to come along, there seems to be a little hickup in that department, because of a time issue.  Yes I HAD time (maybe... probably just an illusion that I cooked up for myself) at the beginning of the semester, but now I have NOTHING, although I think I did fairly well on the Calculus test today, I hope.

Anything you want to do is fine by me, draw what you think it looks like and submit it to the gallery and let us know.

As for more details, they are buried in the story, come on, if I told you everything up front then you wouldn't need to read more smile

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#25 2005-02-12 19:08:09

lil_red-fox
Guest

Re: Team Claw

I drew a picture. but I don't know how to post it!


This is trunking me out of my mind!

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